I created this blog to chronicle our journey with Shakib, a 17-year old Afghan high school student who is living with my husband and me for the 2010-2011 school year. As my blog title suggests, I expect this experience to forever change us -- an Irish Catholic woman, a Jewish man, and our Muslim "son." In fact, I expect it to change everything.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Will you still need me? Will you still feed me?


Today is Jon’s birthday. He is 64.

It seems like only yesterday that we walked down the aisle together. But I guess it’s been a while.

On our wedding day in 1993, 64 seemed so far away. Who knew that at age 64, Jon would be parenting a 17-year-old Afghani boy? Or that he would be training for his 4th full marathon, having graduated from running half marathons (13.1 miles) to the full 26.2 at age 60?

That I would still be in love with this man 17 years later was never in question.

I often say that I married the best man on the planet, and I mean it. For sheer goodness, I have yet to encounter his equal. Jon Charles is kind-hearted, generous and good-natured. He loves people, and he lets it show.

Marriage to Jon has exceeded my expectations. In him I have a partner and a best friend. He does the laundry, pays the bills, manages the auto maintenance, picks up the dry cleaning, shops for groceries, and runs me a bath when I can barely move another muscle. And he is so cheery about all of it.

Jon is a fabulous father. No, Shakib didn’t come to us in the usual way, and yes, we got to skip diapers, the terrible twos, broken bones, fistfights, and a host of other childhood milestones. But he is a teenager and there are challenges. We jumped into the middle of Shakib’s life, and I cannot imagine anyone I would rather have taken that leap with than Jon.

When Shakib was fasting during Ramadan, it was Jon who arose daily at 3:40 am to make him breakfast – for an entire month. And it is Jon – the morning person – who now gets up with Shakib at 6:00 am and sees to it that he gets off to school on time.

Because of Jon, I have a musical life.  He is a gifted musician and arranges and orchestrates music for television, films, and live performances.  He started out in his early 20s as the arranger for the Dick Cavett Show – working with living legends night after night – and recently finished his sixth season as an orchestrator on American Idol. You can read his professional bio here.

Not only do we attend wonderful shows and concerts, but we also share a love for good melodies and clever lyrics. What a boon to have married a straight guy who knows the lyrics to so many Broadway tunes!

Rarely does a day go by that we do not sing to each other. Sometimes one of us makes up lyrics to an existing song to fit a situation or topic of conversation; sometimes, we just make up melodies from scratch. Mine are usually terrible, Jon’s often brilliant.

Jon volunteers his time with the local United Nations Association where he served for 6 years as Board Secretary and is extremely active on committees. He has served as a precinct inspector, managing our local polling place and greeting voters with a smile, every election day, large or small, for 18 years. And he serves on the Board of the American Society of Music Arrangers and Composers, where he is also a past president.

My husband has other skills. One taste of his homemade cheesecake and you will want to marry him too. He is has a talent for drawing.  And he can name all Seven Dwarfs.

Anyone who knows Jon would acknowledge that he is very funny. And he is. But beyond that, Jon has a sense of humor about himself, about life, and about the world. It is hard to stay angry or upset around him and easy to laugh at yourself. In his world, all really is well.

For our wedding day, Jon wrote string quartet arrangements to be played before and after the ceremony including a phenomenal arrangement of Prince’s Kiss. Yes, with cello, viola and violins.

I’ll never forget walking up the aisle toward my future husband to a lively string arrangement of Chapel of Love as our wedding guests spontaneously broke into song: "Going to the Chapel and we're gonna get married..."



After the ceremony, we walked down the aisle as husband and wife to Jon’s arrangement of the Beatles’ When I’m 64.

So here we are, 17 years later, and one of us is indeed 64. Do I still need Jon? You bet.

So now it’s my turn to ask, with a little over 13 years to go, Jon:

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine,
Birthday greeting, bottle of wine?

If I'd been out till quarter to three,
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me?
Will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

You'll be older too…

Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view.
Indicate precisely what you mean to say.
Yours sincerely, Wasting Away

Give me your answer. Fill in a form.
Mine for evermore?
Will you still need me?
Will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

3 comments:

Kara Lozier said...

This post gave me goosebumps, Maureen! What a beautiful tribute to a great man and a great marriage. Please send my birthday wishes to your special man.

Anonymous said...

YAY and HOORAY for Jon and Mo, wonderful people living wonderful lives - living being the key word. Happy Birthday Jon. Love Lori

Anonymous said...

Very sweet, and every word rings true to the Jon that I know. I'm a little embarrassed that Jon's birthday slipped by me without mention, but being the good-natured people-loving guy you've described I know he'll forgive me. I'll be singing my own rendition of that Beatles tune in a couple months, so thanks to Jon for leading the way, and thanks to Mo for her loving tribute. Happy birthday, Jon. You're a lucky man, and Mo's a lucky woman.